For the past five years my life has been filled with caring for my husband Craig who had dementia. On December 12, 2018, he departed this life. His passing was a beautiful experience for me. He was able to remain at home as I prayed he would. Although people from hospice came every day, Craig and I had lots of time together. I will always cherish those special moments.
As you can imagine, this has left a huge hole in my life. As I have thought about what I want to do now, I came to realize that there are two dichotomous paths I could take–neither of which would be the way to go. I could simply do nothing. After all, I’ve earned a rest. For five years, I have put my life on hold. The other path would be to try to do everything. Every day I see more opportunities and possibilities. But I realize I must be careful not to take on too much as a way to fill the void. And so I am proceeding with caution and prayer, seeking to discover what I am really being called to do.
One thing I know for sure, I will keep writing the Handy Helpers books. I finished book five in November, but the manuscript is still in my computer. Now I’m ready to publish it and get to work on book six. I am toying with the idea of writing a book about my experiences as a caregiver. I plan to do a little research to see if the world really needs another book on that subject. I’ll let you know what I find out.
I am also recommitting myself to writing this blog. I have sadly neglected it over the past year. It is my intention to have a new post each week.
Yesterday, I wore a pair of boots I hadn’t worn for a while. The laces of the left boot had been tied into a dozen tiny knots. Stuffed in the toe I found one of Craig’s Megablocks. As I struggled to untie the knots, it occurred to me that I would never again find this shoe in that condition. For a moment I considered leaving the knots and wearing something else. Then I remembered that every day I am surrounded by hundreds of reminders of Craig. He is still with me in so many ways and he always will be.