Tag Archives: bullies

Book Four is Live!

  The Handy Helpers, Not a Happy Camper is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Xlibris. It is not available as an ebook yet.

I hope you will take a few minutes and check it out. According to my young reviewers, it is the best one yet. You’ll find out what happened to the Cole children after they were rescued from the forest fire. Spike deals with another bully. Melissa hopes to strike it rich, panning for gold in Fox Creek. Beth Anne makes a huge sacrifice. And so much more. You won’t want to miss it. I’m hard at work on Book Five. Hopefully, it won’t take me so long to finish this time.

Good Advice from Gus

rheddens_order_delivered_jpgIn Red, White, and Bloopers!  Spike plans a prank to get even with his sister’s boyfriend Todd, who is a bully. Though Todd is the intended target of Spike’s prank, it is the mayor who becomes the victim. Spike is ordered to do community service. Fortunately for Spike, the judge assigns Gus to supervise his community service.

Spike knows that Gus is disappointed in him. He is prepared to receive what he calls “the big lecture,” like the one his parents gave him. To his surprise, Gus doesn’t give him a lecture. Here is their conversation:

“I told you I wasn’t going to give you a lecture”–Gus smiled–“and I’m not. But I would like to share something with you.” Gus took a small Bible from his back pocket and opened it. Then he handed it to Spike. “Read Romans twelve twenty-one. Read it out loud.”

Spike took the book from Gus’s outstretched hand and located the passage. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

“Do you have any thoughts on the meaning of that scripture?” Gus asked.

“Forgive instead of trying to get even. Is that what it means?”

“That’s pretty close,” Gus said.

“So you want me to forgive Todd and forget about revenge?”

“You’ll have to decide for yourself when you’re ready to forgive Todd. But I’m going to ask you to do something–something I think will make a big difference.”

“That’s the kind of thing my parents say just before they tell me to do something I don’t want to do.”

“I want you to promise to pray for Todd every day for a week. I’m not talking about a sissy prayer like ‘God bless Todd.’ I’m taking about a big-man prayer. I want you to ask God to bless Todd, to grant him good health and happiness. Ask God to look with favor on Todd and take care of all his needs.”

“Can I ask God to give Todd what he deserves?”

“Only if you’re asking God to give you what you deserve as well.”

“Okay,” Spike said after thinking about it for a while. “I’ll try what you said, but I don’t think it will make any difference. I don’t think Todd will ever change.”

“Let’s just wait and see what happens,” was all Gus said.

Of course, Gus wasn’t trying to change Todd. He was trying to change Spike. Later, Spike tells Gus that it is not easy to pray for someone and hate them at the same time. Spike begins to see Todd as a person, not as a bully. When he gives Todd a chance, Todd comes through to help in a tough situation. Through the process, Todd and Spike become friends.

Most of us realize that hatred and revenge are destructive behaviors–and yet, we engage in them anyway. We even justify what we are doing by saying, as Spike did, that the other person needs to be taught a lesson. When we spend hours ranting and raving or plotting against someone, we give that person great power over us. It is not they who are suffering, but us. We are the ones who are miserable, as the person we are angry with goes on in ignorant bliss.

Last week I had an amazing experience at the Prayer and Life workshop I’m in. For the week prior to our class, we were instructed to write down anyone or anything that was causing us distress or had ever caused us distress in our lives. I wrote pages and pages. At first I wrote the big things, but then I wrote about little things as well. For the entire week, I poured out my heart onto paper. At our class, we offered our pages of misery as a holocaust to our Lord. As the pages burned we sang: “Change my heart, Oh God, make it ever true. Change my heart, oh God, may I be like You.” Then we raised our hands and prayed the “Our Father.” Finally we hugged each other, singing, “Shalom.”

I don’t know what I expected to happen, but the next morning I felt what I can only describe as a profound silence. I had never experienced such quietness in my head. This must be what it means to be in total peace, I thought. This week is our Great Week of Peace. So far, the peace is continuing. Sometimes negative thoughts creep in, but they seem removed from me, like they happened to someone else. I don’t know how long the peace will last, but I’m becoming sort of addicted to it. I hope it will continue as long as I live.

The Handy Helpers book series is available at Amazon

Bad News for Bullies

 

In Red, White, and . . . Bloopers! Spike’s life is made miserable by a bully–his sister’s boyfriend, Todd. Spike tries to tell his parents what is going on, but they think Spike is over-reacting. They point out that Todd has two older brothers and he is used to horsing around with them. Spike only has sisters. He isn’t accustomed to Todd’s rough-and-tumble ways. As he gets away with pushing Spike around, Todd becomes bolder, until he feels entitled to force Spike to clean up his messy kitchen.  Eventually, Spike and Todd are able to work through their problems and by the end of the book they are actually friends. Todd admits what he has been doing and Spike’s parents acknowledge that their lack of action caused Spike undue anguish and feelings of helplessness.

Bullying is identified as a serious problem in our world today. School children, teenagers, and even adults find themselves the victims of bullies. Bullies hold power over their victims, causing them to try to protect themselves any way they can. This protection could be in the form of avoidance, but in extreme cases, it could lead to someone taking his own life. Bullying in any form should be taken seriously. The signs of physical bullying are more obvious–bruises or other injuries that are frequent, or not the result of normal play. The effects of emotional bullying are less obvious. Someone who is being repeatedly humiliated feels the pain as much as someone who is hit.

Parents and teachers should be the first line of defense in protecting children from bullies. Educating themselves to recognize the signs of bullying is the first step. Having an open relationship where a child feels comfortable talking to parents about their problems is vital.

In a HuffingtonPost article, posted October 17, 2013, and updated January 23, 2014, Franklin Schargel, a former teacher, school counselor and administrator, offered these suggestions to parents if you think your child is being bullied:

1.  Talk to your child about what happened. Listen to the whole story without interrupting. Be calm and validate what is being said. Remind your child that it is normal to feel upset but it is never all right to be bullied. Ask your child what he/she would like to happen, before you make any suggestions.

2.  Don’t expect your child to solve things on their own.

3.  Deal with each incident consistently. Never ignore or downplay complaints about bullying.

4.  Keep a log of the incidents, where the bullying took place, who was involved, how frequently, if anyone witnessed it. Do not attempt to confront the person or their family yourself.

5.  Contact the school. Find out if the school has an anti-bullying policy. Find out if the school is aware of the bullying and whether anything is being done to address the situation. Make an appointment to speak to a school counselor or school administrator.

6.  If your child asks to stay home from school, explain that it won’t help and it may make things worse.

7. Discuss bullying at school board meetings and with other parents (i.e.PTA).

Schargel goes on to say, “Schools need to assertively confront this problem and take any instance of bullying seriously. Addressing and preventing bullying requires the participation of all major school constituencies, school leaders, teachers, parents and students. By taking organized schoolwide measures and providing individuals with the strategies to counteract bullying schools can reduce the instances of bullying and be better prepared to address it when it happens.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/franklin-schargel/bullying-what-schools-par_b_4103901.html

Cyberbullying can be even more vicious than the typical forms of bullying because it is shared with people outside the group involved in the bullying. We must all guard against aiding the cyberbully by being careful what we share on social media. Giving our support to efforts in schools, workplaces and on social media to prevent bullying is everyone’s responsibility.

The Handy Helpers: Red, White, and . . . Bloopers! is available on amazon

 

 

News from Spike

mqkTKySDzy7mUaLE6NWbfoA (2)Okay. Okay. I know I shouldn’t a done it. But having two older sisters is a pain in the butt. When they’re not bossing me around getting me to do stuff, like vacuuming they’re supposed to do, they’re telling Mom about something I did–usually something I didn’t mean to do anyway. Accidents happen you know. So Jennifer found my fake rat, Chuck, in the box of cereal. She didn’t have to make such a big deal about it. Then she got Mom all worked up. I had plans you know–plans to go fishing with my bros. But no! I got stuck washing windows! Then when I figured out a way to get it done quick, (I got some little kids to do it for me. They even paid me to do it.) Mom came home early and spoiled the whole thing.

I guess washing windows isn’t the worst thing to have to do. Anyway it’s summer–there’s plenty of time to go fishing. That’s not what’s really bugging me. What’s really bugging me is Todd. Todd’s Jennifer’s jerk boyfriend. Why he’s always hanging around here I have no idea. Doesn’t he have a home of his own? I’d think Jennifer would get tired of seeing his dumb face everywhere. I know I am.

The first time I ever saw Todd, he was trying to show off for Jennifer, doing tricks with the basketball. First he was dribblin’ tween his legs. That looked  stupid ’cause he kept hitting his leg and then he had to chase after the ball. When he finally shot a basket, it did go in a few times. But that wasn’t good enough. He had to show Jennifer how he could make a shot with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes just in time to catch the ball when it was rolling off the roof. His backwards shot bounced off the rim and hit him in the back of the head. It was so funny, I thought I’d die laughing. When he saw me, he threw the ball at me. “Let’s see you do better!” he yelled. I just threw the ball down and went in the house.

After that, me an’ Todd have been sworn enemies. Mom and Dad think he’s trying to treat me like a big brother–but they don’t know him like I do. He’s a jerk and a bully. I’ve gotta figure out a way to get him off my back. Anyway, Jennifer only keeps a boyfriend for three months. Todd doesn’t know it, but his days are numbered. When Jennifer drops him on his butt, I hope I’m there to laugh in his face!

My friend, Rosemary, asked me to write this blog. She writes down the things that me and my friends do as Handy Helpers. You can read about all the stuff we’re into in the Handy Helpers books. If you have any ideas about what I could do to get even with Todd, I sure would like to know.

Scan_20141120(The Handy Helpers books are available at amazon )